Isaiah 1

Breaking into the Bible again - decided to go for a Virgilian Lots approach. It opened to Isaiah, and I opted to start at the beginning.

When I was preparing an Advent study, I focused on the early part of Chapter 2. What a mistake! Chapter 1 has so much insight into both the corruption and potential of man.

To prepare any space, its faults and weaknesses must be known. If you need any further reference on this, feel free to ask anyone who has suffered from hidden water damage. You can paint and patch to your heart's content, but until the underlying problem is corrected, the cosmetic efforts matter little.

But much like the water-damaged home, the repair of any individual or nation-state is quite difficult. The rewards are great, but there is little wonder as to why so many refuse to take it on. Yet the longer we go neglecting ourselves and others, the sicker we get. Oozing and decrepit, others wonder why we live like this. Including God:

Why do you seek further beatings? Why do you continue to rebel?
The whole head is sick, and the whole heart faint.
From the sole of the foot even to the head, there is no soundness in it,
but bruises and sores and bleeding wounds;
they have not been drained, or bound up, or softened with oil.
(Isaiah 1:5-6)

There is so much wrong, but we are never declared to be a lost cause. Even when we have declared ourselves worthless, given up all hope, and fallen into willful neglect, there is something that can be restored. Elaborate rituals are rendered meaningless as we are advised to "cease to do evil, learn to do good." It can be quite a learning curve! Few of us (self included) have a perfectly formed conscience, so getting to True North is much more difficult than expected.

God has faith in us, but are we ready to have faith in ourselves?

Celebrate the Sabbath, Celebrate Life

The journey into relaxtion was quite surprisingly arduous - 8am found me nearly sleeping at the wheel on the drive to Church, planning something fun entailed a number of phone calls and conflicting schedules, and involved carrying a flailing boy to the car. Becoming more irritable by the minute, I was *this close* to giving up and going home to "Mt. Washmore". Some break!

I stayed the course. Arriving at the park and taking the cantankerous boy out of his carseat, my father and I started along the trails. In about two minutes, the child that "didn't want to go to this stupid park" went zooming down the trail: "I LOVE this place!". For the next hour and a half, we ascended and descended the various trails: walking along a creek bed, catching glimpses of chipmunks, and seeking a doe with her two children. This was a truly restorative place, despite the physical exhaustion. When it was time to leave, my son was crestfallen that he'd have to leave. We can't wait to return!

May God bless and give you peace and strength this week!

Full of Won't

My job has become increasingly stressful, due to the lack of work and intensely negative attitudes. I've been trying to keep a positive attitude, but unfortunately have fallen into quite a rut. Overconsumption (my poor waistline!) and oversleeping.

I've truly gotten to the point where I can't do this anymore (which is good) but am too emotionally weak to seek out viable alternatives (bad, very bad).

This morning found me hiding under my pillow, paralyzed by fear, running late again. My son kept calling out to me, "Mom, GET UP! You are going to be late again."

"But I can't. I can't do it. I don't have the will anymore. I'm full of won't!"

Well, I did get up, got my son ready, and got out the door (late). Toxic attitude still present and accounted for. Work miserable as ever, I went outside to breathe, hoping that real air might do me some good. Laying back in my car, trying to disperse this pervasive sense of doom, I realized:

Won't is not "can't". It's also not "shouldn't". It's simply a refusal. I've been saying no to a better life for quite some time and didn't even realize it.

Thank you, God, for the crack in the wall I begged for this morning!

The Power of Prayer

This morning, I said the Our Father with my son for the first time. Later this very day, he prays to God to keep him out of trouble.

I'm very happy with God and my son right now, knowing that a relationship is forming. :-)

Oh My God - It's *You*!

Yesterday, I decided to stop at church before heading into work. It's a smaller structure, but extremely centering, comforting and perfect for prayer. It's a dedicated space for just me and God...

I was taken aback when I walked in and saw a number of people! Taking my seat at the back of the church, where a kneeler had already been placed down, I began to center myself. Unlike the other times, I just couldn't calm myself. Something's different...

My eyes began to dart around to the stained glass window, statues of Mary and Joseph, the altar...

Wait, something's blocking the altar...

It began to make sense - I had inadvertantly invaded Eucharistic Adoration! I had never really gotten anything from this practice as a child, but on this day, the spirit of God was so strong as to be completely unsettling and undeniable.

I found some comfort in being there with the others, who seemed a bit more secure. Who ever thought you'd need backup to encounter God?