Saturday, June 26, 2010

Isaiah 1

Breaking into the Bible again - decided to go for a Virgilian Lots approach. It opened to Isaiah, and I opted to start at the beginning.

When I was preparing an Advent study, I focused on the early part of Chapter 2. What a mistake! Chapter 1 has so much insight into both the corruption and potential of man.

To prepare any space, its faults and weaknesses must be known. If you need any further reference on this, feel free to ask anyone who has suffered from hidden water damage. You can paint and patch to your heart's content, but until the underlying problem is corrected, the cosmetic efforts matter little.

But much like the water-damaged home, the repair of any individual or nation-state is quite difficult. The rewards are great, but there is little wonder as to why so many refuse to take it on. Yet the longer we go neglecting ourselves and others, the sicker we get. Oozing and decrepit, others wonder why we live like this. Including God:

Why do you seek further beatings? Why do you continue to rebel?
The whole head is sick, and the whole heart faint.
From the sole of the foot even to the head, there is no soundness in it,
but bruises and sores and bleeding wounds;
they have not been drained, or bound up, or softened with oil.
(Isaiah 1:5-6)


There is so much wrong, but we are never declared to be a lost cause. Even when we have declared ourselves worthless, given up all hope, and fallen into willful neglect, there is something that can be restored. Elaborate rituals are rendered meaningless as we are advised to "cease to do evil, learn to do good." It can be quite a learning curve! Few of us (self included) have a perfectly formed conscience, so getting to True North is much more difficult than expected.

God has faith in us, but are we ready to have faith in ourselves?

Monday, April 5, 2010

First Fourth, Part 2

The thing that really haunts me about the first portion of this year is the lack of follow-through in the face of obstacles.

Life is not Plinko. I should not be bouncing along aimlessly where dropped.

I must retrain myself to be resilient and to stay the course even when I meet resistance. Of course, changes are to be made if I discover that I am actually on the wrong path, but otherwise...strength and resilience!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

First Fourth, Part 1

This year, I decided that each season I would look back see what I've been up to, in the hopes that knowledge will help me go forward...this is the first of several posts on the first quarter of this year.

The period "January through March" has been difficult, but less so than October-December 2009.

January began without any resolutions, but with much hope for this being an action year. Still struggling with depression and inertia, especially regarding the work situation, but I was starting to reconnect well with my family. Felt even more distant from some of my friends - when two groups are travelling in two different directions, it's difficult to find a place to meet. I wonder if they feel the same way...

Then, on the 22nd, I had my first severe bleeding incident. Right side facial numbness and paralysis, garbled speech, disorientation. Why did I used to like getting drunk? I can't imagine voluntarily doing that now!

I had been staying away from church for a while. Typical not being able to handle perfect people and their flawless lives. Then I remembered it was *my* church and people weren't like they were at other places. Here, they cared. I went back on the 28th.

February began quite stressfully - it always is with Joe's birthday and his issues with that day. For once, he was actually a happy Groundhog! I believe that was a first...Then, the health insurance! Let me just say that Chester County has gained a customer for life, and Phoenixville has lost one.

There was an epic amount of snow by SE PA standards - it became stressful only because of my work situation. My family and I quite enjoyed the winter weather! It really hit home that I need to find something either closer to home or much more flexible.

I spent a good bit of time watching the Olympics and realizing I love the Canadian National Anthem. It will be interesting to see what happens in Sochi...

Ah - and the high point of the month - dogsledding. I cannot even describe it. Just. Go!

And then - March. "'Twas the best of times, 'twas the worst of times". The earth and the air were wondrous, but this served to make me even more uncomfortable in the current work situation. I do not share the values of the corporation (both my current employer and the idea as a whole), and I wonder how long I can live with this struggle.

My husband graduates school in 438 days. I'm sure he will miss school, but I am also certain that life will improve once he is able to take the Breadwinner Burden off my back. I know we are both looking forward to it!

Friday, March 5, 2010

The Game of Life

We played two rounds yesterday. In the middle of the second, my son said "Hey Mom, once we reach retirement, we should have all of our kids play together!"

We got through our trials and triumphs, arriving at retirement, each with cars full of children. Then we pulled into the driveway.

"Come on, Mom, we're here! We've made it! Everyone out of the car!"

We swam in the lakes, jumped out (and around), had picnics, and our families had a great deal of peaceful fun with each other.

May it be this way for years to come.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Prairie Home Companion

If I could do one thing in life, it would be do produce a show as great as this one.

It is difficult to actually make something of one's English major training, but I am finding that if one is able to shake off the feelings of futility and inferiority, things can happen.

Good stuff.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

What a difference a balanced INR makes - we're back in business over here!

Speaking of back in business, the time has come for me to sort through the chaotic piles of ideas and projects and determine what that means for me.

Connections, freelancing, health, identity.

Lots of decisions.

It's been a rough few weeks, but at least for today I am happy and relatively healthy. Except for the Joan Rivaaahs face. But that too shall pass.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Novel!

Wow.

I just started crying based on something that one of my characters is going through. I wonder if this is typical, or if I really have turned into a sap in my old age...

Unlike real life, I have full control of the situation, but it is still unreal to think of creating pain.

If God is a divine architect (a concept of which I am not really certain), I can't even imagine...